So we have said goodbye to 2016 and hello to 2017. I have been looking back on 2016 and I have to say, I’m glad to see the end of it. For the first time I can remember, I really found myself feeling overwhelmed and behind the 8 ball, too many times. I want to get to the end of 2017 and feel differently, better and less overwhelmed. Truthfully, I think in 2016 I was still clinging to the idea that I could do it all, despite the fact that deep down I knew I really couldn’t.
I knew I needed to be kinder to myself, to change my standards and priorities. I even wrote about how important it is to do this for a Mother’s mental wellbeing in a blog post or two. But it was hard for me to put it into practice consistently. I’m a perfectionist by nature an in order to be perfect, in my mind, I should be self sufficient and be able to raise kids, run a household and run a successful business. When people get busy and overwhelmed they will tend to revert to their natural behaviours. This is what I did. All despite knowing I was doing myself a dis-service. Would people think less of me if I did less? no and even if they did, their opinion of me probably isn’t valuable anyway. Was anyone standing over me forcing me to do this? no, in fact my husband was standing next to me telling me to drop things, they weren’t important! So it was all self inflicted!
The net result was me feeling like I was doing a crappy job at motherhood, business woman, wife and looking after myself and my health. The reality though was that I wasn’t doing a crappy job at any of them I was just not getting as much done as I though I needed to.
So this is my goal is for 2017, to be present and really live my life.
I want to remember moments with my family and friends, rather than forget them because I wasn’t really present and I was distracted, thinking about 5 things at once.
I want to spend my energy and (limited) brain capacity on the important stuff, not just those little (and not so little) meaningless things that are on my to-do list, but really aren’t adding value to my life or that of my family.
Here are my steps to help get me there:-
- Whittle down my daily to-do lists to something I think I can actually complete, really asses what’s important
- Teach myself that it doesn’t matter if I don’t finish everything, it matters more, that my kids and family know they are loved and that I cared enough to be present, not perpetually distracted or forgetful
- Look at how I spend my ‘me’ time and when. It needs to be effective. It’s hard to carve out me time, so I need to be sure I choose a time where I’m not “fighting the tide” i.e kids that needs something from me. I can’t keep trying and failing to do it multiple times a day. I have to learn to get our of bed early and get it done before the kids need me – evening don’t work for me.
Well in keeping with point number 1, I think that is probably enough change for one year. Now I just need to execute on this.
What about you? what are your plans for life in 2017? Could you be more present in your life like me?